Postpartum | 6 Months

Ok, so let me start by saying anyone’s hard is HARD. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Holy shit, postpartum is unbelievably hard!

Postpartum after Michael wasn’t…terrible. I had anxiety and a few little issues pop up, but in the grand scheme of things, that first postpartum period was manageable. Granted, I was pregnant five and a half months after giving birth, so my postpartum phase was extremely limited. Really, with Michael’s pregnancy, the prenatal anxiety was worse than the postpartum experience as a whole.

After having Jack, I had severe anxiety, depression, and large hormone imbalances. Not to mention, Jack went back into the hospital at 6 weeks with a bronchiolitis. Two weeks after coming home, COVID-19 hit and it seemed as though the world stopped. Being trapped inside our home for months, with a one-and-a-half year old and infant, was tough.

Depression hit an all time high, I was TERRIFIED and desperate to leave the house, and beyond exhausted. Postpartum this time has been traumatic. It’s as simple and scary as that.

While I’m not out of the dense, overwhelming fog that is PPD/PPA, I do feel like I’m ready to talk about it. To let you know that you’re not alone. Having not had PPD before, I had NO IDEA what to look for. Even my OBGYN, who is trained to recognize the symptoms, had a hard time giving me the PPD/PPA diagnosis.

  • Insomnia
  • Severe hair loss
  • Difficulty losing weight
  • Blurry vision
  • No energy/falling asleep during the day
  • Zero motivation throughout the day
  • Hot flashes
  • Inability to remember
  • Episodes of crying
  • Irritability
  • Appetite Irregularities
  • Body image inconsistencies

I feel so guilty and incredibly inadequate.

So, you’re probably wondering what the point of all this is. Well, I want to start a monthly discussion here and on Instagram where we can talk all things postpartum. To create a community where we feel safe enough to talk about it. One thing I’ve learned is that PPD/PPA is very lonely, isolating (mostly self-inflicted), and taboo. Let’s change it, because I’m done feeling like I’m completely alone (and I think you might be, too).

Want more postpartum discussion? Every post related to postpartum is here!

alaina

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